After years of marriage and raising children,once tends to forget in looking after oneself. Well that always happen,isn't it? Not only because of this but the surroundings will also effected your live. Number one and most importantly, your job...it really thus give you a stressful situation, with your boss who is nagging and breathing at your neck (well for those who is under employment) sometimes you just want to shout it out!!! Don't lie...you did feel that way right? What more if you are working on your own...the more stressful you become because of work overload...Scream for it!!! Yeay go girl! (Did I sound feminist) Nah!!!! It goes to all human beings, if you feel like punching, kicking and do something aggresive, go on it is actually a good way to release your tension! Try it today! You'll see the effect in no time.
Or if you feel like going slow than maybe you could try some physical activities, you know playing go karts (i use to play at Damansara near the MOFAZ office) or you could go and bring your children to battlestar Galactica at one utama, or swimming at Pusat Sains Negara and learn and play about science there.Maybe you could also try horseriding or ride in a carriage at Taman TAsik Titiwangsa. It's cheap adults will only cost RM1.50 per ride and children RM1 per ride. If you feel tense, go for say 5 rides or more if you like ha!ha! ha! feeling little naughty tonite...
Ok say you don't want it try reading, not heavy philosophical book but a light one, Harry Potter a good start. Jk Rowling would be delighted. Well there are lot of things you can do even strolling in IKEA is a good way to release your tension unless you seriously calculating your money to buy a sofa bed there.
In any way you like, just watch your eating and sleeping habits. It does give a great impact to your lifestyle. Eat well drink a lot of water and have some supplement. You wont regret it ! Chiao
Saturday, April 23, 2011
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Thursday, July 17, 2008
The Big Day
Finally,after months of preparation now you are ready to take the responsibility and not just any responsibility but the most vital and important responsibility in your life...there is still time to turn back if you don't feel doing it. Please don't think marriage is just for fun or just about sex and love, it is more than that. Trust me, if you have made up your mind and you are truly,truly,truly ready mentally and emotionally especially than go for it...do not have any doubt about it.
He or she is not perfect, there are many flaws but don't think about the flaws too much. Except it as part and parcel of life.As time goes by, personality will change, husband will take the personality of the wife and vice versa...believe me and don't be over sensitive if your spouse tease you about your flaws, it's normal talk nicely that you don't like it and really mean it and it will stop.
Back to the big day, make sure everything is ready before the big day. Better yet, a week before the big day everything has been confirm, you do not want at the very last minute the guest has nothing to eat because the caterer has some problem and the problem was that their lorry broke down...double,triple check about it, they will be a bit irritate but you don't want the trouble right?
Have some back up at the same time, just in case.Especially the caterer if you are having the reception at home but do't worry if you are doing at hotels and restaurants because so far Malaysian hotels and restaurants has never been known to fail their customer. Important tips, if you want a very convincing caterer or make up artist or wedding planner find one with good portfolio and have a lot of experience. Why? Normally, they won't or never did a bad job unless the customer is to fussy or maybe some thing came up that makes them unable to perform the tasks. Usually, they will inform the client earlier if they are unable to do so. That way, the relationship can still be maintain. Well, you are not the only one who is getting married...the rest of your family member are also hearing the wedding bells.
On the big day, wake up early and freshen up a lot, take a warm bath and use a scented soap,rose smells nice or lavender up to you...for men, wear a perfume but don't wear a very strong smell...not only it disturb you but also your bride and others. Remember, you will be sweating a lot because of nervous and the smell of your sweat and perfume...aggh!!!give me a break, it can make me faint. Feel good about yourself now that you are going to an important phase of your life and it shows that you are reliable person. Married people are more respected than single people because their perception of life are more wider and their opinion is wiser. Not to underhand the unmarried but married people will walk through different stages and dimension of life that unmarried people don't.
When the time comes for you to make vows, akad or whatever is it call, feel the scene and you will sense that the nature is singing for you...It's true, marriage is a holy relationship and even Mother Earth salute you...and if you really feel it you will feel happy, sad, thankful,grateful,love for your bride or bridegroom a pure love different from the one you feel before married and the feeling of belonging, content and safe and all the good feelings that you never experience before.
As the ceremony goes on, you celebrate it with your family, friends and well-wisher, you can feel the flow of happiness from your head to toe. You cannot stop smiling because deep down you are happy and that is why brides always look serene, shining and glowing on the wedding day.
That is why I think the reason for marriage should be purely out of love or for a very good reason and that both party are content to live with each other, willingly and ready to commit.
Ok got to go my son is cryig for attention...he's having fever...so to all newlywed,Selamat Pengantin Baru.
He or she is not perfect, there are many flaws but don't think about the flaws too much. Except it as part and parcel of life.As time goes by, personality will change, husband will take the personality of the wife and vice versa...believe me and don't be over sensitive if your spouse tease you about your flaws, it's normal talk nicely that you don't like it and really mean it and it will stop.
Back to the big day, make sure everything is ready before the big day. Better yet, a week before the big day everything has been confirm, you do not want at the very last minute the guest has nothing to eat because the caterer has some problem and the problem was that their lorry broke down...double,triple check about it, they will be a bit irritate but you don't want the trouble right?
Have some back up at the same time, just in case.Especially the caterer if you are having the reception at home but do't worry if you are doing at hotels and restaurants because so far Malaysian hotels and restaurants has never been known to fail their customer. Important tips, if you want a very convincing caterer or make up artist or wedding planner find one with good portfolio and have a lot of experience. Why? Normally, they won't or never did a bad job unless the customer is to fussy or maybe some thing came up that makes them unable to perform the tasks. Usually, they will inform the client earlier if they are unable to do so. That way, the relationship can still be maintain. Well, you are not the only one who is getting married...the rest of your family member are also hearing the wedding bells.
On the big day, wake up early and freshen up a lot, take a warm bath and use a scented soap,rose smells nice or lavender up to you...for men, wear a perfume but don't wear a very strong smell...not only it disturb you but also your bride and others. Remember, you will be sweating a lot because of nervous and the smell of your sweat and perfume...aggh!!!give me a break, it can make me faint. Feel good about yourself now that you are going to an important phase of your life and it shows that you are reliable person. Married people are more respected than single people because their perception of life are more wider and their opinion is wiser. Not to underhand the unmarried but married people will walk through different stages and dimension of life that unmarried people don't.
When the time comes for you to make vows, akad or whatever is it call, feel the scene and you will sense that the nature is singing for you...It's true, marriage is a holy relationship and even Mother Earth salute you...and if you really feel it you will feel happy, sad, thankful,grateful,love for your bride or bridegroom a pure love different from the one you feel before married and the feeling of belonging, content and safe and all the good feelings that you never experience before.
As the ceremony goes on, you celebrate it with your family, friends and well-wisher, you can feel the flow of happiness from your head to toe. You cannot stop smiling because deep down you are happy and that is why brides always look serene, shining and glowing on the wedding day.
That is why I think the reason for marriage should be purely out of love or for a very good reason and that both party are content to live with each other, willingly and ready to commit.
Ok got to go my son is cryig for attention...he's having fever...so to all newlywed,Selamat Pengantin Baru.
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Live Happily Ever After (Part 2)
To continue the topic for the preparation of wedding...actually there are more to marriage than just the wedding ceremony...
6. To engage or not to engage?
6. To engage or not to engage?
There are some couple who refuse to get engage...they want to go straight to be man and wife.Well, it's up to you...but nevertheless, discuss your options with your parents and other older couple. There are advantages and disadvantages in being engage...Depends on how you look at it...Being engaged, it's like a 'cooling -off ' period, where one get to know the real character of their partner. For me, being engaged is a tough experience, sometimes you get angry at you fiancee for no obvious reason but sometimes you are so forgiving...the tension is to high and by being calm and positive thinking (plus pray a lot) only then you can get through this stage.
On a more serious thought, engage or bethrotal is a contract in the eye of the law. Although you may not sign an agreement or entering into a MOU, the reception itself is the process and it is legally binding upon the couple. By this time, both of you must have already prepare for the commitment and not to do it half-heartedly. If you are not sure, stay friends or maintain your relationship for a while, but don't push, let nature take it cause (that's the best way...and I agree with that). If the ties broken, wouldn't it be a headache if you start climbing the court stairs just to get compensate, plus the broken heart, and oh so many negative things coming out...and you are not even yet married. By being engaged, you have responsibilities towards each other but not full responsibility eh! Just minor only...Learn to respect each other,you may have some ideas on how your marriage will look like from now.There are many things both at you can look at, how you treat each other, how you treat the family, financial and maybe sensitive things like the best way to love and care for your couple. Why?Some couple when they are engage,tend to neglect this part and more towards the big issue...wedding, finance and the list go on. But most tend to forget that the feelings and the heart is where the happiness begin.
If you keep on fighting like cats and dogs and hope that it might go after the wedding ceremony is over...I think you have to review that...Not all couple are succesful in that, most end up in divorce after few months or few years of married. You must be sensible, for man, please try to understand that woman are going to a process that is alien to them.Sometimes there are changes and adjustment they have to make.Only during this brief period of engagement, that they get to prepare their mind that your life is going to the next level where you are going to be a wife, mother and daughter-in-law. Give them some space to improvise and adjust. Spare their feelings, communicate sensibly and wisely...better yet choose your word. If you want to discuss do it without imposing any restrictions,rules or make any reservation.
For ladies, respect your man, you might have a high-tea group or an aerobic teammate, but don't just spend more time with them thinking that you might have no time for them after marriage. That is wrong, your fiancee might want to have a private moment with you, he might not be a romantic person but learn to know him by his action and maybe words. Man are hard outside but actually they are softer than women inside their heart. Trust me, my hubby is like that he might scold you for something which is not a big issue after all because his mind is reeling about something else but he doesn't know how to say it out loud. Give him time to pour everything, attention is given all to him and trust me the reward will suprise you.
7. To buy or not to buy?
This are the biggest issue between most couple. What I am talking about is buying a house. Well, this one need a serious discussion and consideration. First of all, take into account of your current condition. If you are staying with your parents, than you might want to save some money by staying with your parents until you can buy a house of your own. But if you partner does not prefer that, please I would like to remind you again and again...DON'T PUSH!Don't start your life by living to your own accord. Marriage means sharing, taking and giving, understanding,compassion and many more of the good nature. Maybe you can look for a small house to rent (depends on your budget, if your budget is big than you can find a bigger house), and then tell your parents nicely that you what to live on your own with your couple and be on your own two feet. Some parents might not agree thinking that you are not ready yet but show them, explain to them that you still need them but you just want to start your own life and you can handle all the ups and downs of marriage. Be determine, I am not asking you to be rude but show to them that your parents are still respected and give them time, later they will understand. After all,you are going to be parents too. If you are seriously planning to buy a house during this period, make sure that you don't clash the budget for your wedding and buying a house. Survey for the best housing loan packages and don't immediately agree to all those fancy promises, take into account of your long term commitment. You are going to have babies, among other things. Plus, don't just go and buy houses that you come accross in the first place. Survey the locations,look at the size of the house whether it is accomodating or not and look at the surrounding, you do not want to live in fear of landslide or drown in your house because of heavy rain. I agree the adrenaline is giving you some feeling of excitement that now you are getting married but keep your head cool. I use to have that before getting married, luckily I have a sensible husband who reminds me to save, keep and invest our money for a better living in the future, only than we start looking for a house that is suited to our liking.
Well, this part gonna be quite long, and my babies are crying so let just take one thing at a time...remember, always communicate and be passionate to your marriage...and the rest will follow easily.
On a more serious thought, engage or bethrotal is a contract in the eye of the law. Although you may not sign an agreement or entering into a MOU, the reception itself is the process and it is legally binding upon the couple. By this time, both of you must have already prepare for the commitment and not to do it half-heartedly. If you are not sure, stay friends or maintain your relationship for a while, but don't push, let nature take it cause (that's the best way...and I agree with that). If the ties broken, wouldn't it be a headache if you start climbing the court stairs just to get compensate, plus the broken heart, and oh so many negative things coming out...and you are not even yet married. By being engaged, you have responsibilities towards each other but not full responsibility eh! Just minor only...Learn to respect each other,you may have some ideas on how your marriage will look like from now.There are many things both at you can look at, how you treat each other, how you treat the family, financial and maybe sensitive things like the best way to love and care for your couple. Why?Some couple when they are engage,tend to neglect this part and more towards the big issue...wedding, finance and the list go on. But most tend to forget that the feelings and the heart is where the happiness begin.
If you keep on fighting like cats and dogs and hope that it might go after the wedding ceremony is over...I think you have to review that...Not all couple are succesful in that, most end up in divorce after few months or few years of married. You must be sensible, for man, please try to understand that woman are going to a process that is alien to them.Sometimes there are changes and adjustment they have to make.Only during this brief period of engagement, that they get to prepare their mind that your life is going to the next level where you are going to be a wife, mother and daughter-in-law. Give them some space to improvise and adjust. Spare their feelings, communicate sensibly and wisely...better yet choose your word. If you want to discuss do it without imposing any restrictions,rules or make any reservation.
For ladies, respect your man, you might have a high-tea group or an aerobic teammate, but don't just spend more time with them thinking that you might have no time for them after marriage. That is wrong, your fiancee might want to have a private moment with you, he might not be a romantic person but learn to know him by his action and maybe words. Man are hard outside but actually they are softer than women inside their heart. Trust me, my hubby is like that he might scold you for something which is not a big issue after all because his mind is reeling about something else but he doesn't know how to say it out loud. Give him time to pour everything, attention is given all to him and trust me the reward will suprise you.
7. To buy or not to buy?
This are the biggest issue between most couple. What I am talking about is buying a house. Well, this one need a serious discussion and consideration. First of all, take into account of your current condition. If you are staying with your parents, than you might want to save some money by staying with your parents until you can buy a house of your own. But if you partner does not prefer that, please I would like to remind you again and again...DON'T PUSH!Don't start your life by living to your own accord. Marriage means sharing, taking and giving, understanding,compassion and many more of the good nature. Maybe you can look for a small house to rent (depends on your budget, if your budget is big than you can find a bigger house), and then tell your parents nicely that you what to live on your own with your couple and be on your own two feet. Some parents might not agree thinking that you are not ready yet but show them, explain to them that you still need them but you just want to start your own life and you can handle all the ups and downs of marriage. Be determine, I am not asking you to be rude but show to them that your parents are still respected and give them time, later they will understand. After all,you are going to be parents too. If you are seriously planning to buy a house during this period, make sure that you don't clash the budget for your wedding and buying a house. Survey for the best housing loan packages and don't immediately agree to all those fancy promises, take into account of your long term commitment. You are going to have babies, among other things. Plus, don't just go and buy houses that you come accross in the first place. Survey the locations,look at the size of the house whether it is accomodating or not and look at the surrounding, you do not want to live in fear of landslide or drown in your house because of heavy rain. I agree the adrenaline is giving you some feeling of excitement that now you are getting married but keep your head cool. I use to have that before getting married, luckily I have a sensible husband who reminds me to save, keep and invest our money for a better living in the future, only than we start looking for a house that is suited to our liking.
Well, this part gonna be quite long, and my babies are crying so let just take one thing at a time...remember, always communicate and be passionate to your marriage...and the rest will follow easily.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Live Happily Ever After
School holiday is way over but the wedding bells is still ringing...well you can read through all the magazines at the newsstand or at the mamak stall. Preparation for wedding, be it Malay, Chinese, Indian or other. It's time to blend ideas old and new,traditional vs modern, rich and poor, and other element that past through the time. It's time to gather the family, friends and mind you foe. It's time to dream and making it happen...Ah! Wedding just by mentioning it can make everybody smile from ear to ear.
My cousin sisters' wedding is just sound the corner and all in all there are 3 couples getting married. One in July and the other two in August at the eve of school holiday. My mother is trying to keep cool about it as my mother is one of the eldest that plays an important role for the wedding. As for me, now I am my mother right-hand man because I am consider to be eldest as well (no like the one in 'The Charmed' series), because I am married and knows what to do.Well, from my experience, this is what I told all the 3 cousins of mine:
1. Plan your budget and the time length that you want to get married.
2. Be more pro-active and creative
Now that you are getting married, grab your hands on all the wedding books you can. Widen your view, survey every corner of the streets, search high and low for the best quality and prices. You would be suprise that some junk shop (it looks old but it does not sell junky) can give you what you are looking for. It happens to me...so the magic might work for you.The trick is try not to go to the shop where everybody go but maybe go next door because the most popular shop sometimes offer prices higher than market value.Even though, the oil price is rising, that doesn't mean you can't go out, plan your day better if you bring your mum, aunt or elder sister just so you don't go bling!bling!and stay focus. Be creative, it might not be think you want but you can still buy it and improvise and if you the florist or the shop assistant to do it for you, well back to point 1, always,always check your budget.
3. Talk to your spouse to be
You may have spent most of your college life or working life with him, or you may not even know him at all.This is the best time to really get to know each other. This is what I have been through with my hubby, with enough money we have, we plan every weekend to do all the wedding preparation since hubby is still finishing his chambering and have little amount of money. We budgeted and choose only the most important items and with reasonable price. But we are very happy, because we are not throwing our money away. During this time, in between breaks during the shopping, we talk a lot (don't stop talking, that is the most important element in marriage life) about our future saving, investing on insurance, family planning, purchasing a property and things that will shape our life later on. Talk, argue, cry or anything but it does make the love grow stronger you know.Getting to know both sides behaviour, best if you bring a family member so that you can put yourself under control.
4. Be more sensible
As the time is getting nearer, you will start feeling edgy and restless. relax. calm down. it's not worth shouting or tiring yourself over stupid little thing especially with your family and spouse to be. Go for spa, jacuzzi, fitness centre. You can even try playing golf or start your own blog, just to remind you about how edgy it is to face your wedding.Don't let the 'cold feet' syndrome get unto you. Pray a lot, talk to the people who can help you and smile and be happy. Anyway, you have to be and look happy on your wedding day...
5. Be prepare
Ready your mind and soul for the marriage. Read a lot, talk about it. Find out what you want and need to know so you won't be suprise or blur after the wedding ceremony is over. This is the time you can plan and dream how you want your marriage to take shape.Remember, marriage is only between you and your spouse and the others they only come and go in your marriage life.
Well, that it just the tip of the iceberg, most importantly, you yourself must decide what to do and need to do...taking hubby advice, life is to be enjoy and marriage is a bliss...
My cousin sisters' wedding is just sound the corner and all in all there are 3 couples getting married. One in July and the other two in August at the eve of school holiday. My mother is trying to keep cool about it as my mother is one of the eldest that plays an important role for the wedding. As for me, now I am my mother right-hand man because I am consider to be eldest as well (no like the one in 'The Charmed' series), because I am married and knows what to do.Well, from my experience, this is what I told all the 3 cousins of mine:
1. Plan your budget and the time length that you want to get married.
Want to know why? The budget does not only includes during the wedding but also after the wedding. The fun and sensation is before the wedding and during the wedding but you can't go running to your parents' asking for money after the wedding. You are on your own. The longer you plan the best price you can get but I don't advice you to lengthen it for more than one year,things might go awry then...Take points of how you want your wedding to be whether there is a theme, that goes for colour scheme in the bedroom, "pelamin",flowergirl(if u need to), even in the bathroom or the whole house if you have the money and if you plan to have it at home, the caterer, the tent and now most importantly, the wedding planner but this does not mean you have to have one only if you can afford it. Next, the make-up artiste, the wedding dress, the jewellery and to some point the wedding reception, is it at home or hotel or a country club or even in the middle of a football field in front of your house. These are all in the budget and don't forget the small trinkets like gifts for the guests, and for the Malays, trinkets for the family of the groom or bride if you are having a different reception. Trust me you do not want to have unnecessary debt after you are married...starting a new life with debts is not an essential element towards living happily ever after. I don't agree with the trend that you have to apply for a loan either from a bank or any other means in order to get married. It is a responsibility, so one must try hard not to start a family on an unstable condition. Possibly you might want to share the expenses maybe having only one reception for both family and not to ask for a higher dowry than what can be afforded by other party.Keep in mind the wedding is just a program announcing that you are married not some fun fair activities that has to last for a week. Minimize your expenses...Keep aside some of your salary for saving not only for the wedding but also after it...
2. Be more pro-active and creative
Now that you are getting married, grab your hands on all the wedding books you can. Widen your view, survey every corner of the streets, search high and low for the best quality and prices. You would be suprise that some junk shop (it looks old but it does not sell junky) can give you what you are looking for. It happens to me...so the magic might work for you.The trick is try not to go to the shop where everybody go but maybe go next door because the most popular shop sometimes offer prices higher than market value.Even though, the oil price is rising, that doesn't mean you can't go out, plan your day better if you bring your mum, aunt or elder sister just so you don't go bling!bling!and stay focus. Be creative, it might not be think you want but you can still buy it and improvise and if you the florist or the shop assistant to do it for you, well back to point 1, always,always check your budget.
3. Talk to your spouse to be
You may have spent most of your college life or working life with him, or you may not even know him at all.This is the best time to really get to know each other. This is what I have been through with my hubby, with enough money we have, we plan every weekend to do all the wedding preparation since hubby is still finishing his chambering and have little amount of money. We budgeted and choose only the most important items and with reasonable price. But we are very happy, because we are not throwing our money away. During this time, in between breaks during the shopping, we talk a lot (don't stop talking, that is the most important element in marriage life) about our future saving, investing on insurance, family planning, purchasing a property and things that will shape our life later on. Talk, argue, cry or anything but it does make the love grow stronger you know.Getting to know both sides behaviour, best if you bring a family member so that you can put yourself under control.
4. Be more sensible
As the time is getting nearer, you will start feeling edgy and restless. relax. calm down. it's not worth shouting or tiring yourself over stupid little thing especially with your family and spouse to be. Go for spa, jacuzzi, fitness centre. You can even try playing golf or start your own blog, just to remind you about how edgy it is to face your wedding.Don't let the 'cold feet' syndrome get unto you. Pray a lot, talk to the people who can help you and smile and be happy. Anyway, you have to be and look happy on your wedding day...
5. Be prepare
Ready your mind and soul for the marriage. Read a lot, talk about it. Find out what you want and need to know so you won't be suprise or blur after the wedding ceremony is over. This is the time you can plan and dream how you want your marriage to take shape.Remember, marriage is only between you and your spouse and the others they only come and go in your marriage life.
Well, that it just the tip of the iceberg, most importantly, you yourself must decide what to do and need to do...taking hubby advice, life is to be enjoy and marriage is a bliss...
Sunday, June 15, 2008
What a tough year!
To all mother and father out there...happy parents' day since both fall on bulan yang berturut-turut. I just celebrated mother's day with my family last month but this month father's day well...not sure yet...not that I have a 'cool' relatonship with dad...hei to think about it ever since I have a hold on my own money I never stop buying for dad on his birthday, father's day and whatever day you can name ith in the calendar.
But frankly enough, life is quite good now. In the earlier phase of my wedding...things were so unorganizable but since I'm the kind of cool person and take things easy or go slow man...he!he!everything was so heavenly now...minus the physical pain of backbone and other disease. Mine you, hubby is taking care of me very well, I'm so luckkkkkkkkkkkkkyyyyyyyy...I guess.
There are down side to...especially when the temperature is to high or the moon is full...but that i normal and your life is to be enjoy at the fullest. Yeah, there are ups and down but don't let the down take you deep into the ocean of despair. Build up your happiness, talk it out or lash it out even worst scream it out if you want but do it in private, just don't let other people's mood brush you, it's their life we lead our life as how we want it.
Newborn is wonderful it's like you are being revive again and again...is more fun where they are around although life will be like a roller coaster ride...but worth the pain...money can come and go and it will come from anywhere when you are having newborn...it's like you are becoming richer with every new child we have...
Marriage is like going to a places where everything is trial and error...read a lot and practise, most importantly communicate and let your shows on the sleeve. Don't be greedy, egoistical and always be forgiving and the best part be the best joker in town and the rest will be ....you will live happily ever after...
There are down side to...especially when the temperature is to high or the moon is full...but that i normal and your life is to be enjoy at the fullest. Yeah, there are ups and down but don't let the down take you deep into the ocean of despair. Build up your happiness, talk it out or lash it out even worst scream it out if you want but do it in private, just don't let other people's mood brush you, it's their life we lead our life as how we want it.
Newborn is wonderful it's like you are being revive again and again...is more fun where they are around although life will be like a roller coaster ride...but worth the pain...money can come and go and it will come from anywhere when you are having newborn...it's like you are becoming richer with every new child we have...
Marriage is like going to a places where everything is trial and error...read a lot and practise, most importantly communicate and let your shows on the sleeve. Don't be greedy, egoistical and always be forgiving and the best part be the best joker in town and the rest will be ....you will live happily ever after...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)