6. To engage or not to engage?
There are some couple who refuse to get engage...they want to go straight to be man and wife.Well, it's up to you...but nevertheless, discuss your options with your parents and other older couple. There are advantages and disadvantages in being engage...Depends on how you look at it...Being engaged, it's like a 'cooling -off ' period, where one get to know the real character of their partner. For me, being engaged is a tough experience, sometimes you get angry at you fiancee for no obvious reason but sometimes you are so forgiving...the tension is to high and by being calm and positive thinking (plus pray a lot) only then you can get through this stage.
On a more serious thought, engage or bethrotal is a contract in the eye of the law. Although you may not sign an agreement or entering into a MOU, the reception itself is the process and it is legally binding upon the couple. By this time, both of you must have already prepare for the commitment and not to do it half-heartedly. If you are not sure, stay friends or maintain your relationship for a while, but don't push, let nature take it cause (that's the best way...and I agree with that). If the ties broken, wouldn't it be a headache if you start climbing the court stairs just to get compensate, plus the broken heart, and oh so many negative things coming out...and you are not even yet married. By being engaged, you have responsibilities towards each other but not full responsibility eh! Just minor only...Learn to respect each other,you may have some ideas on how your marriage will look like from now.There are many things both at you can look at, how you treat each other, how you treat the family, financial and maybe sensitive things like the best way to love and care for your couple. Why?Some couple when they are engage,tend to neglect this part and more towards the big issue...wedding, finance and the list go on. But most tend to forget that the feelings and the heart is where the happiness begin.
If you keep on fighting like cats and dogs and hope that it might go after the wedding ceremony is over...I think you have to review that...Not all couple are succesful in that, most end up in divorce after few months or few years of married. You must be sensible, for man, please try to understand that woman are going to a process that is alien to them.Sometimes there are changes and adjustment they have to make.Only during this brief period of engagement, that they get to prepare their mind that your life is going to the next level where you are going to be a wife, mother and daughter-in-law. Give them some space to improvise and adjust. Spare their feelings, communicate sensibly and wisely...better yet choose your word. If you want to discuss do it without imposing any restrictions,rules or make any reservation.
For ladies, respect your man, you might have a high-tea group or an aerobic teammate, but don't just spend more time with them thinking that you might have no time for them after marriage. That is wrong, your fiancee might want to have a private moment with you, he might not be a romantic person but learn to know him by his action and maybe words. Man are hard outside but actually they are softer than women inside their heart. Trust me, my hubby is like that he might scold you for something which is not a big issue after all because his mind is reeling about something else but he doesn't know how to say it out loud. Give him time to pour everything, attention is given all to him and trust me the reward will suprise you.
7. To buy or not to buy?
This are the biggest issue between most couple. What I am talking about is buying a house. Well, this one need a serious discussion and consideration. First of all, take into account of your current condition. If you are staying with your parents, than you might want to save some money by staying with your parents until you can buy a house of your own. But if you partner does not prefer that, please I would like to remind you again and again...DON'T PUSH!Don't start your life by living to your own accord. Marriage means sharing, taking and giving, understanding,compassion and many more of the good nature. Maybe you can look for a small house to rent (depends on your budget, if your budget is big than you can find a bigger house), and then tell your parents nicely that you what to live on your own with your couple and be on your own two feet. Some parents might not agree thinking that you are not ready yet but show them, explain to them that you still need them but you just want to start your own life and you can handle all the ups and downs of marriage. Be determine, I am not asking you to be rude but show to them that your parents are still respected and give them time, later they will understand. After all,you are going to be parents too. If you are seriously planning to buy a house during this period, make sure that you don't clash the budget for your wedding and buying a house. Survey for the best housing loan packages and don't immediately agree to all those fancy promises, take into account of your long term commitment. You are going to have babies, among other things. Plus, don't just go and buy houses that you come accross in the first place. Survey the locations,look at the size of the house whether it is accomodating or not and look at the surrounding, you do not want to live in fear of landslide or drown in your house because of heavy rain. I agree the adrenaline is giving you some feeling of excitement that now you are getting married but keep your head cool. I use to have that before getting married, luckily I have a sensible husband who reminds me to save, keep and invest our money for a better living in the future, only than we start looking for a house that is suited to our liking.
Well, this part gonna be quite long, and my babies are crying so let just take one thing at a time...remember, always communicate and be passionate to your marriage...and the rest will follow easily.
On a more serious thought, engage or bethrotal is a contract in the eye of the law. Although you may not sign an agreement or entering into a MOU, the reception itself is the process and it is legally binding upon the couple. By this time, both of you must have already prepare for the commitment and not to do it half-heartedly. If you are not sure, stay friends or maintain your relationship for a while, but don't push, let nature take it cause (that's the best way...and I agree with that). If the ties broken, wouldn't it be a headache if you start climbing the court stairs just to get compensate, plus the broken heart, and oh so many negative things coming out...and you are not even yet married. By being engaged, you have responsibilities towards each other but not full responsibility eh! Just minor only...Learn to respect each other,you may have some ideas on how your marriage will look like from now.There are many things both at you can look at, how you treat each other, how you treat the family, financial and maybe sensitive things like the best way to love and care for your couple. Why?Some couple when they are engage,tend to neglect this part and more towards the big issue...wedding, finance and the list go on. But most tend to forget that the feelings and the heart is where the happiness begin.
If you keep on fighting like cats and dogs and hope that it might go after the wedding ceremony is over...I think you have to review that...Not all couple are succesful in that, most end up in divorce after few months or few years of married. You must be sensible, for man, please try to understand that woman are going to a process that is alien to them.Sometimes there are changes and adjustment they have to make.Only during this brief period of engagement, that they get to prepare their mind that your life is going to the next level where you are going to be a wife, mother and daughter-in-law. Give them some space to improvise and adjust. Spare their feelings, communicate sensibly and wisely...better yet choose your word. If you want to discuss do it without imposing any restrictions,rules or make any reservation.
For ladies, respect your man, you might have a high-tea group or an aerobic teammate, but don't just spend more time with them thinking that you might have no time for them after marriage. That is wrong, your fiancee might want to have a private moment with you, he might not be a romantic person but learn to know him by his action and maybe words. Man are hard outside but actually they are softer than women inside their heart. Trust me, my hubby is like that he might scold you for something which is not a big issue after all because his mind is reeling about something else but he doesn't know how to say it out loud. Give him time to pour everything, attention is given all to him and trust me the reward will suprise you.
7. To buy or not to buy?
This are the biggest issue between most couple. What I am talking about is buying a house. Well, this one need a serious discussion and consideration. First of all, take into account of your current condition. If you are staying with your parents, than you might want to save some money by staying with your parents until you can buy a house of your own. But if you partner does not prefer that, please I would like to remind you again and again...DON'T PUSH!Don't start your life by living to your own accord. Marriage means sharing, taking and giving, understanding,compassion and many more of the good nature. Maybe you can look for a small house to rent (depends on your budget, if your budget is big than you can find a bigger house), and then tell your parents nicely that you what to live on your own with your couple and be on your own two feet. Some parents might not agree thinking that you are not ready yet but show them, explain to them that you still need them but you just want to start your own life and you can handle all the ups and downs of marriage. Be determine, I am not asking you to be rude but show to them that your parents are still respected and give them time, later they will understand. After all,you are going to be parents too. If you are seriously planning to buy a house during this period, make sure that you don't clash the budget for your wedding and buying a house. Survey for the best housing loan packages and don't immediately agree to all those fancy promises, take into account of your long term commitment. You are going to have babies, among other things. Plus, don't just go and buy houses that you come accross in the first place. Survey the locations,look at the size of the house whether it is accomodating or not and look at the surrounding, you do not want to live in fear of landslide or drown in your house because of heavy rain. I agree the adrenaline is giving you some feeling of excitement that now you are getting married but keep your head cool. I use to have that before getting married, luckily I have a sensible husband who reminds me to save, keep and invest our money for a better living in the future, only than we start looking for a house that is suited to our liking.
Well, this part gonna be quite long, and my babies are crying so let just take one thing at a time...remember, always communicate and be passionate to your marriage...and the rest will follow easily.
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